If you have been a Realtor for many years you will understand why I say “Realtors are like Al-Anon Members.” We are worried about people who have a real estate problem. The things that happen in our business on a day to day basis can be crazy. A good realtor is more of a social worker than a slick salesperson. The things we are asked to do by our clients can border on insanity or criminality. We have been offered everything from a race horse (he finished dead last in every race at Sam Houston Parkway) to a paid trip for our commission.
I remember when Katrina and Rita hit New Orleans. The Astrodome was full of people looking for homes. Boy was our real estate company ready to help the people from New Orleans. I had a couple come into the office both had new Cadillac’s and wanted a $500,000 home. I am thinking wow here is the start of something great. Their first question was how much money are we going to get back at closing? I said in Texas you don’t get money back at closing the state considers that mortgage fraud. They said in Louisiana we get money back and we want a minimum of $25,000. I ended up selling no homes to people from New Orleans.
I have many crazy stores about when I was doing foreclosures for banks and mortgage companies after the mortgage crisis. I went to one home in Missouri City that had a flatbed trailer outside with items from the house piled up on it. I walked into the house, no problem there all the doors were gone as was much else of the house. There was a gang there that literally was stripping the house of everything. It looked like it was starting to lean. The leader told me there is a strip of carpet over there make sure no one steals it. I asked where are the doors, he said they were in another city. I called the mortgage company and said I was not taking the deal. Note, I called the mortgage company not the police. One who wants to live a long life does not turn gangs in to the police. The untold rule is call the police if it is the owner, and walk away if it is a gang.
I had another foreclosure that was located next to a bayou. The home had a pool which was filled with black water. There was a pool house located nearby with items taken from the house on the shelves. I had a lady working with me on this foreclosure. She walked into the pool house and screamed like she was being killed. I looked over and saw a big black snake had slithered from the wall and was going between her legs. He slithered about 25 feet and disappeared into the pool.
With sellers the big lie in Houston is that it only got 4 inches of water in it or only one room flooded. I beg and plead with sellers to redo their sellers disclosure to protect them. If I know there has been a problem it is going on the sellers disclosure or I am not listing it. If you are a seller don’t bring a television crew in your home to show how much water got in the house. Then put the home on the market saying only one room flooded. Or do a great job repairing the home and forget to paint the pocket door which shows water 2 feet high.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t drink it for them. This can be changed to you can set up a closing for a buyer but you cannot control them. I tell all my buyers do not buy a tooth brush on credit till you close or change jobs. I had a closing at 2:00PM where my client showed up in bright shiny new truck with double wheels in the back and long bed. A thing of beauty. Unfortunately he bought it on the way to closing. The mortgage company ran his credit just before closing, saw the truck and canceled the loan. I had couple I was working with where the wife hated her job. I begged her just stay with the job till we close. She ignored my advice and quit 3 days before closing, the mortgage company found out about her quitting her job and canceled the loan.
Some crazy things people do
Don’t wear a tank top that shows off your tattoos
Don’t tell the realtor you are going to have to have the dog tranquilized in order to show the home
Don’t brag about this is where they found the body
Don’t sit out naked by the pool without a cell phone to notify you of a showing scheduled
Don’t use your realtors address for your home address
Don’t ask me to lie for you
Don’t expect to sell a home if you have a BBQ pit in the front yard
Don’t ask me to pick up your dry cleaning on the way to our appointment
Don’t talk bad about realtors and expect me to represent you
As the business has become ultra-complicated and cut throat. I guess the fun now is getting together with our fellow realtors and telling our stories. We realtors are like an al-anon group talking about what crazy things are happening in our lives because of Real Estate. You have to be a Realtor to understand just how crazy the Real Estate business is out there.
Our common bond which ties us all together. A love of the business , a genuine caring about people, and the belief that we are helping make people’s lives better.
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